What I learned from Star Wars

Ok so I went to the midnight premier of Star Wars Episode III. I know. I'm a dork. But really, it was a good movie; it was more than good actually - it captivated me, it made me laugh, it made me cry. Well, almost. Let me go back a bit. I've never really been a huge Star Wars fan to tell you the truth. I mean I've watched the movies. I appreciate them. But I've never really been a nerd about them, and honestly I wanted to be. I wanted to know the background, the storyline, the characters, but I never even watched the original movies until Episode I came out. I've always been one to want to know about the things that everyone else seems to know about. My friend Melissa and her brother Anthony were the Star Wars fans that I knew. So of course I needed to watch all of the originals so they wouldn't know more than me. I am such a prideful beast. I mean the new movies are just prequels; I didn't need to watch them to understand.

But that brings me to a new point. What makes someone a fan of something? Is it because they are truly passionate about the particular item or do they just want to be. When it comes to Star Wars I can honestly say that I just want to be. But are people like Melissa's brother Anthony fans because they love Star Wars or because all of their friends are and it makes them part of a group? Then is Melissa a fan because her big brother is? I mean if her brothers hated Star Wars would she still like the movies? These are probably ridiculous questions but it makes me wonder about other things. For instance, I am a big fan of coffee. I hated coffee before I came to college. Now I don't know if I started drinking it because I needed it to stay up and study or because all of my friends drink a lot of coffee, but I drink coffee every day now. The same with art. I never painted or wrote or played guitar before I came to college, but I always wanted to. Somehow, because I wanted to, I started painting and writing and playing guitar. Now I have a real appreciation for everything creative and artsy. I have become a fan. An oscillating fan if you will.

But seriously now I don't know why I just wrote all of that crap; I actually wanted to write about something from the actual movie that I thought fascinating. Hate. Where does it come from? In East of Eden John Steinbeck writes, "Hate does not live alone. It needs Love as a goad, a trigger, a stimulant." That may not be the exact quote, but thats how I remember it. Anyway, what fascinated me in Star Wars is the fact that Anakin (aka Darth Vader) didn't hate because he was evil and cruel by nature. He hated because he first loved. And he loved passionately. That is so sad to me. Granted it was selfish love. I mean he would rather kill off everyone than have his own love, Padmé, taken from him. His love for power also triggered him to hate those who kept him from it. But it was love nonetheless.

Do we hate because we love? I can think of one person I have truly hated, but I never loved him. So what was that? Maybe I just loved what he took from me and hence hated him for taking it. Like Anakin and his power. When someone tried to take it or keep him from it he hated that person.

But i have always seen Hate as the opposite of Love, just as like is the opposite of dislike. Love is like + passion. Hate is dislike + passion. But is that really what it is? I don't know. It can't be formularized. Yeah thats not a word.

I do believe that Hate is driven by passion, and passion derives from a Love of something. So Hate relies on Love. It can't survive alone.

But then that begs the question, where does Love come from? I do not believe it comes from Hate. That would be silly. An object's source cannot be its outlet without truly being the source, and i think I have already established that Love must be the source. Or at least i think I have. I hope I have. Anyway, if Love is the source, who or what is Its maker? I think that is where God comes in. I know that is where God comes in. After all God is Love. He is the source. How sad that we turn something so beautiful as Love into something so hideous as Hate. Its like taking the little part of Heaven God has given us and letting Satan turn it into a little part of Hell here on Earth. Why do we do that? We're morons. I wish we could experience love untainted. Unhellified if you will. I know that is what God has for us, but is it possible to truly feel that here in this world? Or do we have a sort of loveblock on that shields us from those "damaging love rays"? Ok that was really cheesy. But what if that was what we were doing? We put on protection so we don't get hurt but at the same time we sheild the one thing that could save us. How utterly horrible would that be?

I can't even begin to understand the innerworkings of Love and Hate, but it is a fascinating thing really. Two opposing ideas. One that can't live without the other. One that is both the other's source and its opposite. Frightening...

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