and then it gets better.

Hi friends, been a while, I know. I hope you don't think less of me. I've missed you, I really have. I think about you constantly. I haven't written in a few months, and I don't have a good excuse. I'm lazy. And I'm tired. That's all.

But things are getting better! I got a new job recently, which will hopefully help with the tired part. No more driving 30 minutes to work, and no more 40-50 hours a week at the mall! I am now the Admin Assistant for Chatham Design Group, which may not sound like much, but I love it. I get to help people find their dream home, which is something I am getting more and more interested in myself as I find myself growing up.

I also started dating my best friend, Gus. (Finally, I know.)

I mean, how pretty would our babies be?? GAH. I need a moment...

Ok, so yes, we've been dating for about 3 months now...and so far so good. I will say though, it's a little terrifying to date your best friend. Cause you know if it doesn't work out, you lose one of the most valuable things in your whole life. But then again, not being with him was so unnatural, it felt stupid. Plus, how great is it to be be with someone who actually understands you, who knows those parts of you that you don't even like, but then loves you anyway? Can't beat that. (Not to say we don't get in a few healthy arguments every once in a while...)

I think for pretty much all of last year I was trying really hard not to care. I just wanted to have fun and be free to do whatever I wanted to do, no feelings attached. And so I made some bad choices. None that I really regret though, to be honest, cause I think they taught me a valuable lesson: You are who you choose to be. And I was not choosing well.

This reminds me of my favorite book by John Steinbeck, East of Eden. One of the major themes is based on the word timshel, a hebrew word meaning "thou mayest." In the Old Testament it's used to say "thou mayest conquer sin." Not you can, you may. 

It is always your choice. You can be good, or you can be bad. That's pretty much what is comes down to. And my dear friends, there are already plenty of bad people in the world. Methinks we should try adding a few more to the good side. And not just for the sake of humanity even, but for the sake of He who created us to be better, to do good, to love all...because we are to be a reflection of Him. And I am so tired of us sucking that up. That's not fair. He's not like that, why should we be? Why should we make everyone else believe He is bad because we are acting that way?!

Let's choose to do some good today, because as another favorite author of mine once wrote, "...that has made all the difference."

Love,

Jessi