Do you do this too? Why?
I find it so much easier to hurt the people I love the most. How silly that it's the people I would gladly give my life for are the ones who receive my wrath more often than anyone else - or instead of anyone else.
I guess I assume they will always forgive me? But even so, why hurt them? When you love someone, aren't you supposed to will their highest good, and then help them achieve that good? So why instead do I insist on speaking out of anger and saying whatever it is that I am thinking when I KNOW it will hurt this person deeply? That is not love my friends. Not love.
But really is it just me or is anyone out there feeling like me too? Do I have another broken piece in my brain that forgets to tell me when I am saying awful things that no one should have to hear, especially the person that I love and who somehow loves me too even though I am the way that I am. I mean if anything, that person is demonstrating true love - being able to forgive constantly and love unconditionally. That's what Jesus teaches after all.
Ok I'm just ranting now. I just want to know how to fix it. I do not want to be the greatest source of pain for someone to whom I am supposed to be the greatest source of joy (second to the Lord, of course). But this is like a life-long struggle. So what do I do?