I am ashamed of many things.

I am ashamed of the way I talked to a homeless man outside of my solid, warm doorway
and cut short not only his words, but his dignity.

I am ashamed of my apparent inability to love outside the lines of my head,
the place that "knows" those who deserve a love given to me for free.

I am ashamed of my brothers who take my baby sisters
and turn them into prostitutes, control freaks and liars.

I am ashamed of my fathers who feel the right to persecute and even hate
the red, yellow, black and brown side of my big beautiful family.

I am ashamed of my co-workers who claim to shout to God,
but rather whisper secrets of so-called truths in the ears of strangers.

I am ashamed of so many things.

But I am not ashamed of You.

I am not ashamed of You who said "Get up! Pick up your mat and WALK!"

So now how do I reconcile this discrepancy between my sorrowful shame and my unabashed love for You?

I will tell you what I will do.

I will give you my shame.

I will give you my brothers' shame and my sisters' shame and my fathers', co-workers', husbands' and daughters' shame.

I will give it all to you. Because you are not like me.

Because with you all things are possible.

With You, the broken are healed, the chained set free, and the dead are resurrected.

And with my shame you will purify, sanctify, rectify and nullify.

So that this thing called shame I once gave to you - well, I can take it back now under a new name.

It shall be called grace.



I tell you the truth -
From this day, I walk not in shame. From this day, I walk in GRACE.