i know you care.

I just hit 300 followers! Wahoo! Except I don't know who the f most of you are. Booo. So let's play a little game. I'm gonna ask 10 questions, that I'm sure you were dying to know about me, and then answer them.Then (here's the fun part) you comment back with the same 10 questions with your own answers! Aww, we're gonna be friends!

What do you want to be when you grow up (even if it's outside the realm of "the possible")? A mommy, writer, singer, friend, lover...not necessarily in that order.

What is the first thing you do when you get off work? Take off my pants. Duh.

If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Somewhere over the rainbow. Seems like a nice place.

If you could have any pet what would you have?  A unicorn. Again I say duh.

Name 3 things that scare you. a) Clowns b) Falling off a cliff c) Falling in love

Name 3 things that make you happy. a) Seahorses b) Seth Cohen c) Falling in love (yes, yes I am a box of contradictions. I'm a girl, it's my right.)

Name a memory that sticks out vividly in your mind. Does seeing the last Harry Potter count? Maybe not...how about my high school graduation. I vividly remember standing there after the ceremony and looking around at everyone hugging...and thinking "Holy shit I have to grow up now."

What are you most proud of? I honestly have no idea. Maybe that I've still got my V card? I know that sounds weird. But I'm really glad I can say that I've never given that part of me to someone who didn't love me or who I didn't love. I can still give that to my husband, and I will be able to say "Hey, I saved this for you. No one else got to have this, and I want you to have it forever." I like that. I want that. It has been a long 26 years though...

What do you most regret? Breaking someone's heart. I know how it feels now, and I am so so sorry I did it to someone else.

What would be your life's theme song? MMMBop. That pretty much says it all.

i mean they make insecticide, why not douchebagacide??

Why are people so effing mean? I can't get over it. How can you purposefully hurt someone? Ever? I literally don't comprehend this whole douchebag phenomenon. Maybe it's because I never really dated in high school or college, and the first guy I dated happened to be my best friend too, so I've been a bit sheltered. All this time I thought I was missing out on something fun, but dear sweet Lord, dating sucks.

It's like you take this thing, let's call it your HEART, and you let someone borrow it for a second, except he doesn't really care about it, cause well, he doesn't care about you (even though he tells you he does, let's call that LYING), and so he accidentally leaves it out in the rain and forgets about it. And so it rots and dies and becomes this black hard decaying thing. It doesn't even hurt anymore.

Except it does hurt. But it hurts so bad that you don't want it to hurt, so you pretend that it doesn't hurt. And you don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he hurt you, cause that would just hurt even more. Especially since you know that you didn't have the ability to hurt him. And really you're glad you didn't hurt him, because what sucks more than anything else in the entire world is that you actually cared about him. You never wanted to hurt him.

And then he friend requests your hot best friend on Facebook and you want to stab his eyeballs out.

Douchebag.

my conversation with a six year old.

6yr old: "Why are you driving?"
Me: "Because I can."
6YO: "Why?"
Me: "Because I was taught how."
6YO: "How come?"
Me: "Because that's what happens when you turn 16."
6YO: "Why?"
Me: "That's just the way life works."
6YO: "How come?"
Me: "I dunno I don't make the rules kid."
6YO: "Why?"
Me: "That's an excellent question."
6YO: "How come?"
Me: "Please stop talking."
6YO: "But Whyyy?"
...

Never stop asking questions :)

Love,
Jessi