i know this is the kind of thing you really aren't supposed to talk about, but i feel like i need to.

i have been so mad at God recently. things are just not going the way i would like them to. i can't pay my bills. my car keeps breaking down. i don't want to be in 2 of my 3 jobs. i just want to work for bedouins full time. i need patience. i need faith. more than faith, i need something good to be revealed through my faith.

i have been getting angry at work, because i don't want to be there, and i think it's been obvious. i don't want my co-workers to see that side of me. especially if i am the only example of a follower of Christ that they get to see. i want them to see the kind of God i hope to represent. because He is Good, even when i am not.

and He is Love...especially when i am not.

but i haven't even wanted to talk to Him lately...honestly i haven't even wanted to talk about Him. prayer has been a chore. reading my bible has been a nuisance...even though i KNOW that the reason i feel that way is because i have been neglecting it.

and i know that i can do nothing worth anything without Him. and i want to give my all to Bedouins. i want to give it all to my other employers too, because i want to do everything i do in His Name. but lately it has been a lot harder to motivate myself.

but i do Love Him. even when i am mad at Him, I Love Him. i just needed to get that off my chest.

Consider it pure joy my brothers when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

...we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.

(James 1:2-3 & Romans 5:3-5)


Bedouins International

Hello Friends.

So for those of you who don't know about Bedouins International, please let me enlighten you. It is an amazing non-profit organization based here in Birmingham, AL that was formed by a group of artists who wanted to use their gifts and passions to serve others and ultimately share the love of God. Through photography, videography, print design, web design and music, four incredible artists have come together to provide media for other charitable organizations, churches and missionaries who would not normally be able to afford high-quality media. Bedouins gives the people they serve a means of sharing their story with the rest of the world, and they give it to them completely free of cost!

Bedouins makes me so happy because i feel like there are so many people in the world with an amazing story to tell, but too many of these voices go unheard because they don't have the right resources to receive the attention and support they need. So Bedouins steps in and gives them exactly what they need and then finally the world has a chance to hear about what is really going on across the globe. On top of that, it gives us all a chance to see what it looks like to use the gifts God has given us to change that same world that can seem so cruel and heartless.

We just launched a new website (yay!) so you should go check it out HERE to see what all is going on, where we're going, what our needs are, etc. We also just received our letter saying we are officially registered as a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization (double yay!) which means that all donations, whether in-kind or cash are completely tax deductible.

Look out for more news on our trip to Haiti coming up in June. It's going to be an amazing project. We'll be helping a school in northern Haiti by doing a documentary for them to raise support for what they are doing - some really amazing things!

If anyone out there has a need that Bedouins can fill please let me know...or if you have a means of filling a need for Bedouins, then by all means you are welcome too!

God bless you as you read this!



so i work at a coffee shop. sometimes i like it, usually i don't. but last week i had a good day and i thought i should share.

i must preface this by saying that i LOVE my regulars - the customers that come in who i know not only by name but also by high-quality espresso beverage. somehow they make my job seem worth it, like it means something. and i truly enjoy getting to know the people who come in and then choose to come back.

one of my regulars came in last thursday to get his free mocha (his punch card was finally full). i was sad to find out however that this would be his last visit in the shop - he was leaving that afternoon to go back home to san diego after spending a few months in the ham for a work project. he was such a great customer. he was a great person really...i mean he was incredibly patient when i had to work by myself and had like 4 people on the drive thru and two people up front ahead of him...he was always smiling and understanding.

so anyway we said our short goodbyes and he left. a couple of minutes later i glanced at my tip jar (which usually consists of some loose change...maybe actual paper money if i'm lucky). i had to do a double take. there were 2 twenty dollar bills in there. and they were real. i was blown away. he left me a forty dollar tip. i could not believe it. it totally made my day...it made my week. some people can be so overwhelmingly kind. i mean i get excited when i get a dollar tip...especially when it comes from somene on the drive thru...but $40? amazing.

(and no i did not flirt with him :) )



so obviously i cannot decide on a template for my blog. i feel like nothing really matches me. isn't it silly (/interesting) how completely inanimate objects like fonts and colors can match personalities? i feel like a brown and teal kind of gal, but only a certain combination of those colors. this still feels a little too masculine to me...i am reading far too into this i know. alas. hopefully soon i will be able to write something a little more interesting rather than getting distracted with my color choices.


131 1/2

My absolute favorite place that I lived while I was going to Auburn was at 131 1/2 Cedarcrest Circle. Oh yes. 131 1/2. People always asked if I was serious when I told them my address...the 1/2 tended to throw people off. But it was this great, old little duplex off of Magnolia. I lived with my best friend Calla Maria, and right above us lived some other great friends - Hannah, Megan, and Kelly. They were great house-mates...and very understanding - even when we had all-night Karoeke parties and creamed corn fights at 3 in the morning...

This is a pic that Hannah just sent me of our mailbox in our front yard...thanks Hannah! I will always cherish our memories on Cedarcrest!