there is an ocean out there. and i'm gonna swim in it.

Hi.

Do you ever feel like you're drowning? Cause I do. Drowning in debt, drowning in work, drowning in love...

But I mean I know it's ok. I know it is. I'm not so far gone that I have lost hope in my ability to make it back up to the top. But it makes me wonder, because I know that not everyone has that hope. Not everyone has learned how to swim, how to get back up there, how to breathe. Not to say that I am the greatest swimmer. I mean, have you read my blog? I sink. A lot. And not just because I can't do it. Sometimes I just forget how important breathing is.


What if drowning is normal? Don't things just feel heavy sometimes? Like you could literally drown in your surroundings, in life? And not always in a bad way. Like sometimes I just love things so much I feel like I'm gonna explode. (Of course I may be a rare case. I mean, I cried at the end of Dark Knight Rises. Wept. I mean, come on. Alfred? Sweet old man. Kiss his frickin cheeks off.) And then there are of course the not-so-happy things that make me want to explode. Like being in debt for the last 5 years. Doesn't matter how much I pay, the next month I still owe the same. damn. amount.

Does everyone drown? And what if you can't swim?! Like at all? What happens to those people? Or what if you don't even know that you need to swim. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN??


I dunno kids. I don't know about normal. All I know is there is an ocean out there. And it is full of monsters and pressures and beautiful things. And I want to swim in it. I want to explore the depths and face the monsters and feel the pressures - and then swim back up to the top, take in a big long breath, and do it all over again. Stronger this time.

I may need to borrow somebody's floaties for a while though. Hit me up if you have some.

Love,
Jessi